Your daughter acts weirdly. She does not get along with her peers and has a weird temperament.
This was something Henry had often heard about his daughter Stella.
When she was expelled from school after completing Primary 1, Henry arranged for Stella to go through a psychological assessment, which resulted in an autism diagnosis.
As a result of this, and with assistance from a social worker from a Family Service Centre, Stella was transferred to a special needs school.
A Pillar of Strength
The challenges for Henry’s family began several years earlier.
Shortly after giving birth to Stella, his wife was retrenched and stayed at home a lot. It was then that Henry began to notice changes in his wife’s behaviour; she would often mumble and laugh to herself, and she would be glued to the television day after day.
“She was diagnosed with schizophrenia, and had to be admitted to the Institute of Mental Health (IMH),” Henry explained.
As the sole caregiver and breadwinner, he had to work to pay the bills, while caring for his wife, son and Stella. It was a challenging time for him – especially caring for Stella, whose sensory challenges were quite complex – leading to frequent hospitalisation.
The caregiving burden only grew, and Henry was increasingly unable to care for all of them in person while trying to make ends meet. Eventually, he had little choice but to place Stella in SAAH residential homes while taking care of his wife and son. Where possible, he requested for Stella to have home visits, so that he could care for her in person as much as possible.
Soon after, his wife’s condition deteriorated and she was admitted to IMH for a long-term stint, where she remained for a few years until her passing.
While his wife was still alive, Henry often had to juggle his time, visiting his wife in IMH, Stella at SAAH, and then returning home to care for his son – all while still working to support the entire family.
Despite the challenges, he did not bow to his circumstances and remained a pillar of strength for his family.
A Home Away from Home
With Stella at SAAH since 2019 and his son having since moved out, Henry now stays alone in his flat.
The memories of times spent with his family, along with Stella’s handicrafts, help to fill the void in his heart. Every so often, Stella calls and keeps him abreast of happenings in her life.
“I miss you Papa. I want you to visit,” shared Henry of his daughter’s pleas.
“There are times she’ll pester to video call, so that she can look around the home, and see what I am doing. Sometimes, she calls me when I am in the toilet. How to pick up her call like this?” said Henry with an exasperated laugh.
To Henry, who makes ends meet as a dishwasher, was stoic in appraisal of his personal situation.
“Whatever happens, life still has to go on. I still have to care for Stella. I cannot possibly put her aside and do nothing.” Henry added, “We gave her life, so it is our responsibility to provide the care she needs… I eat bread as much as possible. Nowadays, I have to think twice about lighting up a cigarette or picking up a can of beer. But I will continue to pay the bills.”
SAAC social workers have been keeping a close lookout for Henry, and we continue to be in regular contact.
What's Next?
To date, Stella is still a resident of SAAH, and a constant feature in all communal activities.
Despite facing challenges in communication and emotional regulation, Stella has been remarkably resilient. She is a visual learner with a passion for crafting, finding solace and expression in creative pursuits.
Our dedicated Allied Professionals collaborate closely with Stella, her father and her caregivers at SAAH. Together, they develop personalized support strategies that address Stella’s unique needs, and we continue to work with her to ensure that she can lead as normal a life as possible at our Home.
